2010

Finally, we are properly into the new year (lunar calendar wise)!

So many things have changed this year, and are going to continue to change.

I will most probably be graduating this May! and there are so many things to think about.

Lots of planning to do for continuing education, career and upcoming grad trip!


Initially I wanted to go down to NZ for a drive around free and easy holiday in june but it is in winter then.

So I thought maybe Australia would be the closest option after NZ. hmm.

But now, I'm not so sure. Such a chance does not come by easily. Maybe I should go somewhere further!

Perhaps drive or backpack to europe for 1-2 months? And maybe even work and play in USA for months thereafter....

... then end my grad trip in NZ in december? I've been reading up a little about couch-surfing.

HAHAHA. Just a crazy idea, let's see how things work out:)

Haiz it sounds all so exciting but I really need to do some serious reading up and research to plan all of this.

And do I really have time for everything?


I just blew 1.5 days re-writing and recording a new song. Productive, music wise:)

But not when I've deadlines and a mid term exam nx monday to meet. In that's perspective, quite unproductive:(

Argh. Anyway I'm quite in ORD mood this sem i realise, almost ready to jump out of school.

I'm like 24, and besides NS, have been schooling ALL my life, like give me a break lol.

Aiyah, but I've to focus in being where I am, rather than thinking of somewhere/someplace else.


Yet I'm also glad to take a break from school/church to spend some quality time with family.

I realised I've drifted from my mum's side and am much closer to my dad's side now.

Will never imagine this happening a few years ago lol.

But oh well, I call it the evolution of human relationships.


So what's in store for me this coming year? I don't know with certainty that's for sure.

But I know it's going to be a brave new world out there, and My God will bring me there:)


God Bless you this 2010 year!


ps. Liz I've finally updated my blog, now it's your turn!

Feet pounding pavement, heart racing, heavy breathing, music blasting.

I must say again, how much i love running.

It's the time I truly have to myself, time to think through the day.

Time to let either Parachute or Vineyard to minister to my soul.

I really suspect if I ran a correlational study on my positive affect with my running frequency that week,

The result will be a pretty strong positive correlation.


On a side note,

Winning the War Within by Charles Stanley is a really good book.

Of many books i've read, I think this book confronts boldly the inconsistencies in our lives.

It's very real, and very scriptural.

Mind blowing perspective.

Get your hands on it!

Complicity....

So I accuse my accusers.... and in the exchange of fire.....

I realise that I may not be without complicity as well...

So in the end, my righteousness turned out to be filthy rags.

How fitting a phrase.

Alas, all had failed. I have nothing to say.


Time to reflect deeply.

Something i've neglected in a long while.

I can't change them, though they'll try.

But i should change first, so God help me.

To give me to courage to change the things I can,

the serenity to accept the things i cannot change.

And the wisdom to know the difference...

Amen.

After Exam Resolutions

Head Straight home after last paper to do Thanksgiving

Show my neglected cell kids more attention

Plan cell outings

Do something special for Div

Do something special for friends

Launch Formal Cell Photo-taking for Div - Montage Time!

Write a song for Div

Meet up with Ex-cell more often

Write more songs

Churn out a single by learning how to do proper mixdown of audio - Stay focused

Make sure I get back a new guitar from Ranking Sport for Eugene by end of my hols - sorry it ended up there sooo long

Work off my flabs

Get my Kayaking Two Star

Go Rock Climbing

Take time to Reflect and center myself with God

Improve, revamp, shake-up

Meet up with Friends

Run a 21km Marathon - anyone wanna train w me?

Find part time work - any lobang?

Find time and place to go-kart with friends - should be fun:)

untitled

Though i am indeed thankful that my 5 horrendous deadlines are all behind me, i can't imagine the prospects of having to face my exams.

I feel so unprepared somehow. The only studying i felt i've done so far this semester was to cope with my deadlines and to be in line with handing in the 'perfect assignment' etc etc alot of resources were depleted like that somehow. Not to mention that I somehow have SO MANY projects this semester, they really suck the time out of you.

I realise that i've been disillusioned for quite a while, and i've kind of lost my bearing on things. In a nutshell, i've lost my core motivations in the midst of the crazy crazy frantic meeting of deadlines.

It's like you're confused after you've been shell shocked with deadlines. And now knowing you face the prospect of being shell shocked again by exams - how motivating right?

I am reminded today that I somehow, I don't know how, have to look at my circumstances with eyes of faith & not of my natural eyes. I need to believe in a Miracle! Lord, grant me the faith I need!

DEADline MANIA

Quite stressed out actually, as I've FIVE DEadlines nx week!

Mid Term Test on Monday for Developmental Psychology
Critique Paper due on Tues Midnight for Health Psychology
Project Experimental Report for Statistics due Wednesday during Tutorial
Abnormal Psychology presentation on Friday during Tutorial
Project Business Proposal for Internet Start up Company due on Friday too!

Best.

Not to mention it's one week to exams the moment my deadlines end.

Someone, please end me. No time no space and i'm tired.

Did project till late last night and still it's not finished.

Why does it have to always be such an uphill task?

I'm still praying that God will show me meaning even thru all these.

Well, at least He granted me really good and sweet sleep last night:)

Not had a good night's sleep in quite a while actually, don't know why.

To all having uni exams and sch mid years soon, jiayou!

Back to work....

Life seems meaningless at times...

why am i working so hard for? I feel so tired, so drained till there's almost nothing left. I think it's meaningless. It says in the good book that it's better to have one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.
Ecc 4:6

For whom am I toiling for? I'll rather keep my tranquility, and sanity.

I want 48 hour days

The past 2 weeks has been both eventful and stressful. The next 3 weeks will be worse. Can't wait for the entire semester to end actually. For now, moderate stress is good to get my butt moving with my work. And if I could have 48 hours a day... I would actually be able to fit everything i wanna do into it don't ya think????

I'm experiencing what you can call, "don't bite off more than you can chew..." So... if i refuse to cut down, can I have more time? I wonder... hmm.

I can't live without God

It's not been too good a past week actually. Stress mounting, disappointment experienced from literally all quarters of my life. The battle was fierce, and it was tough to keep my emotions in check, from ruling my actions. I know it was tough on my boy Ryan too, and i wish i could have done more for him, but i was stretched way too thin with my personal life. I literally snapped, I almost wanted to just throw in the towel and just do nothing.

Too many things have happened recently, none of which was under my control. I felt so helpless, so alone. Trying to remedy the situation on top of my usual commitments had worn me down, which was also on top of my own emotional struggles. I felt taxed, felt drained, felt there were too many things to do to even pray - that's the whole problem you see. I run myself dry as though there'll be no consequence, with terrible implications afterwards. Everything looked dark, everything looked bleak, I felt I had no hope, like it was taken from me.

That's when I knew I had come to the end of myself, into shreds. Totally broken, exhausted and hopeless, I approached the King of Kings once more, where He restored to me strength, assurance and a new hope, and changed my countenance. A broken and contrite spirit, He will not despise. He has changed my mourning into dancing, and once again, I could life my voice in sweet praise of Him. O what a joy! To just worship Him in unrushed time, and let Him minister in my tears.

I've found my joy, and my freedom, for He is my inheritance. Have you found your inheritance recently? And so, because He has such a vast love, that can cover and blot out the depths of my sin, I shall and must, continue to serve Him all the days of my life. What can I do without you Lord?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, and proud of it =)

Well, as David the Psalmist, King of Israel says to the Lord, "I'm poor and needy". Hence I'm unafraid to be poor, to be needy before the Lord. Not as a sign of weakness, but rather, embracing our original design as mere men. Creation to creator, period.

Time for that much needed servicing?

The Importance of Sun Block...

I never knew it was so important, even thought it gay to use it
It's sticky, and it leaves a weird sensation on your skin after applying it
I simply used to hate it i refuse to put it on myself
So there i went out there under the merciless sun for like 7 hours straight?
Out at sea in the choppy waters of the straits of Johor the sea splash did not help
It dehydrated what was already completely fried by the sun - my dear skin

I went home a red indian lobster when I had left it as a moderately fair chinese
By then, large swatches of skin on my face, neck and arms were burning red and hot
So hot that I actually felt feverish and dizzy though i told no one about it
For completing this course I must
That was when i remembered that my skin is an organ too, and deserves care
Feverish, with a running nose tap too, I popped pills and lay down early for the night
For two sleep cycles I slept, to recover and be well enough again to face the churning sea

Now, I listen to my mum, put aside my bias against gay sun block and slap it on
For my skin by then, was very raw and hot to touch
To screen it from the scorching sun I must
Two applications did seem to protect it from a post-burn burn
Let me repeat post-burn burn the damage is already done

So this past week, I've had to contend with myself
A man of sorts with two toned skin that peels and drops off
I look like a patient from the Burns Unit in the Hospital, seriously
So, you won't be catching me in short sleeved for a while....
Gotta protect my newly formed skin from the sun for this while....

Till then, kayaking has to wait... For I so can't WAIT to get into the water AGAIN!!
And this time round, I bring my sun block... important leh....

oh.. and I almost forgot....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICTORIA!!!!

Have a VICTORIAous BIRTHDAY!!!!! Woohoo!!!!

Queen Victoria taking forever to finish her noodles as everyone else waits on...HA!

I wonder what's in the list of Victoria's New Year Resolutions... hmmm... Because if I were her, my very first resolution would be to : eat faster!

And my second resolution would be to : pls follow resolution one!

*evil grinz

*she's so going to kill me, but this is so fun!!!! HAHA!!!

Photo Moments!!

It all started after we were all dressed up for a Wedding Dinner for some extended relative...

It felt like such a waste if no pictures were taken, hence....

My lil sister amigo, see how she did her hair at the hairdresser's?

The Ladies of the house...

See how she pouts? lol

A Beautifully captured moment (ahem, you've got to see who was behind the cam...)

Switch over of photographer... serious shot

Crazy shot one, haha see how my mum is cringing.... LOL

My fav shot man HA!! Even my mum was playing along!! Beat that!!

Presenting to you, the crazy tan family, enjoy!

I Got my MODs!!!

Praise God!!

I've got my desired GEM mod called understanding the internet. Wasn't so sure that i'll get it cos it was a tough fight! The nx min bid was like 901 points? And i only had a little more than that, so i dumped ALL my points in. Thank God i got it for 917 points eventually, cos though it's a v ex mod, it's exam free. And hopefully i already know enough about the internet for this mod to be a breeze and cap puller. I just hope everyone else taking this course are real newbs so that i can enjoy some advantage ha!

KK school is gg to start for real come Monday. And i've got 8am lecture on Tuesdays, core mod somemore!!! Argh... gotta wake super early, disgustingly early cos NUS is not exactly at my doorstep. oh well..... its....

BACK TO SCHOOL, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!

Beautiful Nature

I simply love taking pictures of landscapes or scenery while on the go. Those below were taken last year while on holiday.
Urban nature... love capturing the sun...

Majestic isn't it?


Look at that vast broad expanse!

yup... love taking pictures... when i'm not the model ha! Somehow, nature speaks volumes to me. It spells of peace, tranquility and connecting with even the divine.

Enjoy, ciaos!

Magic

Today was good.

Managed to run a new 10 km route around my estate today, and I did it close to noon too. Really felt like giving up many parts of the way, but was encouraged at many points to trudge on. The wind, the beautiful sun and the deep and rich greenery spoke to me. The ever rising sun tells of God's amazing grace to His people to always provide for them the strength to grow their crops, and the light to guide their paths, regardless of circumstance. And it was through the wind, that Moses saw the back of God. The rich and lush greenery just made me stand in awe of His Magnificent.

Whenever I needed encouragement, I would just close my eyes and walk into the wind, and the wind, would just blow stronger as though in response to my need. It's magical, and I wouldn't trade anything else for this. God is here, God is holding me together during this critical period of time. For without Him, I would really have crumbled. His strength in my weakness exemplified.

He is teaching me many things, and I know it. And I think i'm beginning to realise what Paul meant when he said all that he has once considered loss, he now considers gain. Though it was a deep loss, absolutely heart wrenching at first, I can also consider it pure gain...

For I have taken away many lessons.
1) More than anything else, I've learnt perserverance - to not give up in the face
of mounting difficulty and discouragement
2) I've learnt how one must suffer when fighting for a cause
3) My prayer to grasp the concept of pure agape love was answered
4) I've seen how fear can motivate and how to overcome it
5) I know who I am
5) And many other lessons, none of which we can learn from the classroom

Hence, it is gain.

It was a very trying 2008 which almost threatened to cloud the days of 2009. But it shall not. A new Beginning, a new start, the old has gone, the new has come. I've come to accept the fact that life is going to be tough, and inevitably I will be defeated by my circumstances at times. But, I've decided in my heart and spirit that I will never stay defeated.


Bye 2008, Hello 2009.

Resolutions, resolutions!

For the first post of this year, I shall still go ahead and make my New Year Resolutions, though its already quite late.

1) Stay above my circumstances with The Lord's merciful help
2) Get into the Word for 2009, live and breathe it
3) Focus on my Studies and Cell Group to bring both to greater heights
4) Discipline myself with more physical training
5) Rebuild my finances
6) Pursue Krav Maga intensively during my three month break, Lo Hwei Yen as a daughter
of this land will not die for nothing, we must train ourselves and stay vigilant

Because My Father is Victorious, and I take after Him, so shall I be.

Zonked Out

Actually I feel quite drained out, physically. It's been activity after activity, and I haven't even been able to sit down to finish all those books i've been wanting to read. Especially The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis and Misquoting Jesus by Bart D. Ehrman (Thanks Linda!). I want to watch Facing the Giants one more time too, cos it's just so inspirational! (Thanks Lijia!) Just what I needed, plus it's SO GOOD it can be used for CG Lessons!! (See how well used your gift is gg to be? HA!)

My body's aching badly and it's wounded as well. Went for Krav Maga class last friday night, and wasted like the first twenty minutes of class directing my sis and her friends to Fightworks Asia at Macpherson Road via hp. They were interested in the defensive arts as well, and I thought they were in a cab. So i said to my sis, how come your cab driver so kayu one?! Cause by this time, they have already gone through the whole length of Macpherson Road TWICE, and still couldn't find the place. That's when my lil sister told me, oh, we are not in a cab, we are driving over. Knowing how bad my own sis is at with directions, I listed down all the possible visually identifiable landmarks to guide them and went to the class first, since I've already paid $30 bucks for a 1.5hr session. Girls.

I could not have joined the class at a worst timing. They were in the middle of the syllabus by then, not exactly beginner material, plus cos i was late for lesson i had a lot of catching up to do. Lesson that day happened to on how to break free from an arm lock and strangle hold. There were alot of take downs as well, and some unlearning to do. Too much for a first lesson. In krav maga, we're taught to attack the groin and head, something that was a BIG NO NO in my police training cos that amounts to police brutality. It was something to the extent that I exclaimed a loud "WHAT?!" to my instructor when he told me to hit his groin (we were wearing groin guards) and his head. And a testament how deeply embedded into my psyche in not hitting these two areas, I actually protested once more saying "Are you serious?!" when he said yes.

I must have looked like a complete idiot, after all, I was in a Krav Maga Class, a martial art that teaches one to respond to extreme forms of aggression at the higher levels. Anyway, by then, my class was looking at me in some kind of disbelief. So, I granted my instructor, his wish.. (don't worry, we don't actually hit each other, just a psychological barrier i had to overcome)

We spent the rest of the class time breaking free of strangleholds, rolling all over the floor and eventually overcoming our attacker. And so, my neck is still sore till today from all that strangling. We ended the class by doing an extreme form of leg raise that requires a partner. You will lie down on your back, and your partner will stand just above your head facing and looking down at you. You'll do a 90 degree leg raise and your partner's role is to give both your ankles a push, forcing them back down onto the ground. Your role is not to let your ankles touch the ground, while still keeping your legs straight, then force your legs up to do another leg raise. Imagine 60 counts of that..... yup, still aching quite badly from it esp in my torso and legs.

Anyway, krav maga is really good, so good, that I've decided to properly pursue it during my three months break. The rest of this holidays is just too short to gain much from it. As for how I was wounded, I got up from the living room sofa bed and walked into an adj sofa set at home which happened to have two nails exposed. I literally saw how deep one of the nails tore into my flesh when the blood has not arrived yet. Gross. Talking about nails, I can't even comprehend the kind of pain the suffering our Saviour went thru when nails were hammered through his hands and feet as though he was not worth the dignity of even an ordinary man. This is His Christmas Love and gift to us for all time. Imagine if he had become self-righteous on the way to the cross, which He was entitled to, for He had no sin. I Thank Him for going all of the way, to the very last stretch of what you can call a mile for us.

Can't believe that 2008 is coming to an end. For now, I just want to slow down, ready my room, heart & spirit for the new year. As pastor Rony says, it's all in the NOW. Change, NOW. If not, forever hold your peace (i added this line myself, i'm not gg to "misquote Pastor Rony", if not Linda's gg to give me another book ha). Anyway my NUSNET password expired and i can't even log in! Bidding starting soon, great. As for NOW, i've gotta get changed and ready for my ex form teacher's wedding dinner as i'm helping out in the reception. Ciaos!

Cell Group Outing!!!

On the 18th of December 2008. Our Cell group FINALLY had our very own outing organised with lots of help from our fellowship/outing/birthday IC Ryan:) Thanks Ryan! Indeed, the smoothness of the entire programme would not have been possible without his inputs, for he knows the place SO so so well. That's cos he lives around there btw!

First, we met up in at Tampines for the tampines pple....
Presenting to you, Rachel & Nicolas!

and then headed to E! Hub to at Pasir Ris to meet up with the rest to BOWL!!!
Gladys smiling for the camera

Desiree here doing some finger pointing lol weird...

Me trying to finish off some pins...Cool motion pic taken by Desiree, good shot girl!

Ching Ying here with the act cute girl!

Prince Charles & French President Nicolas Sarkozy locked in a deadly staring competition! HA!

Rachel Chng here happily taking a spastic picture of herself, HAHA!

Until I came along and save the day by taking this picture! Desiree is on the left & Enqi on the right!

We then headed off to fill up our famished tummies at a nice restaurant with free flow of drinks & Ice Cream called Cool Acias?? Is it? HAHA can't rembr! Anyway, the impt thing was that, the moment was captured:)

Cell Girls with Felicia bobbing her head up and down super fast in the background HAHA! Clockwise from left, we have Enqi, Queen Victoria, Ching Ying & Rachel Boey!

Another table of Cell Girls, well, at least Felicia looks decent here:) HA! Clockwise from left, we have Gladys, Felicia, Rachel Chng & Desiree!

Finally, presenting to you, Cell Guys!! As you can see, it's kind of hard to keep all of them still in their places, explaining the blur shot. So what? Boys rock!!! Clockwise from left, we have Nicholas, Charles, Caleb, Benjamin & Ryan!

Here's me with Ryan, who thinks it's cooler not to smile while taking pics... Well, he's entitled to his own opinions:) HAHA, sorry Ryan...

We then ended the outing with Cycling!! Nice, we should try this again sometime:)

ps. On a sidenote, Desiree ni de pics zai na li ahhhh!! Hurry send me! HAHA!

Cell Group Outing Updates & Directions

Hi Guys!

Just to update you that Rachel Boey can now make it for our outing tmr making it a grand total of 15 pple! That's a sizeable 3 Quarter strength of our entire cell group! Pretty good attendance, Praise God for that!

Very good questions raised by Dao Yang and Felicia. Where to meet at Pasir Ris? Sorry I missed that crucial detail lol. We will ALL be meeting at Level 1 of E!Hub @ Downtown East at 11.50am SHARP at a specific corner of the building. Please see the picture below adapted from our online Government map @ www.map.gov.sg.



See that black dot I sprayed there? That's the corner where we're going to meet at 11.50am. Those who do not know how to get there on your own or want to meet up at Tampines to go down together to E! Hub can meet me at 11.20am Sharp @ Tampines MRT Station. Do drop me an SMS if you're meeting me at Tampines MRT so i'll know how many pple to expect, and if i should wait for you. If I receive no sms from you, i'll safely assume that you're going to Pasir Ris on your own and leave without you. So important ah, if you late, better sms me to wait for you.

Finally, the most important Detail of all, PRAY. PRAY for good weather during the outing tmr, ESP during the Cycling part and that it'll be good bonding time together as a cell as well! Ask and we shall receive! So make sure you pray up! And pray with an expectant heart!

So, I guess i'll seeya tmr? Haha God Bless, till then...

Cell Group OUTING!!!!

Cell Group Outing on the 18th of December 2008

Brief Outline

Time Event Action by

11.20 am Initial meetup with Tampines people at Tamp MRT! Jared
(for everyone who does not know how to get to downtown east straight)

11.50 am Main Meetup at Downtown East Pasir Ris! Rachel
(for the pasir ris people who's gg there straight)

12 NOON Tamp peeps to reach downtown east and join up w e rest! Rachel & Jared
(Start to decide where to eat - 15 mins)

12.15 pm Proceed to decided lunch venue to LUNCH!!! Everyone

02.00 pm Bowling (let's all learn to Bowl ok?) Everyone
(those who really super duper don't wanna bowl can watch movie tgt)

04.30 pm Proceed to Pasir Ris park to Cycle!! Everyone
(Please pray for super good weather, we don't wanna cycle in e rain..)

06.00 pm We can break off to do our own activites/dinner/go home:) Everyone


So this is the rough schedule of what our cell outing will be like, not sure just check back here again!

Thanks for keep that day free and seeya guys soon!!